Bart: What’s everyone’s problem? I’m glad we’re stranded. It’ll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing. We’re gonna live like kings. Damn hell ass kings!

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Marge: You aren’t even listening to me. You’re only hearing what you want to hear.
Homer: Thanks honey! I’d love a pork chop right about now!

Marge: Now you’re overstimulated. Let’s get some beer in you and then straight into bed!
Homer: WOO HOO! Beer beer beer! Bed bed bed!!!

Bart: I’m looking for a Mr. Jass. First name Hugh.
Mo: Hang on, lemmie check. Is there a Hugh Jass here? I’m looking for a Hugh Jass!
Hugh: I’m Hugh Jass.
Mo: Phone for ya.
Hugh: Hello? I’m Hugh Jass.
Bart: Um…I’m gonna’ be straight with you Mister, this is just a prank call that went horribly wrong.
Hugh: Oh, ok then. Have a nice night. (hangs up) What a nice young man.

Lawyer 1: Ladies and gentleman of the jury, who do you find more attractive, Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise?
Judge: What is the point of all this?
Lawyer 1: Your Honor, I am so confident in Marge Simpson’s guilt that I am willing to waste the jury’s time with ratings of the superhunks!
Hutz: Oooh, he’s gonna win!
Marge: Mr. Hutz!

Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It’s one of those campy ’70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation Xers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.