Skinner: Oh, you think this stolen ‘H’ is a laugh riot, don’t you? Well, I’ll tell you something that’s not so funny: right now Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl! Well, I guess that is a little funny.

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Mo: You’re a pig. Barney’s a pig. Larry’s a pig. we’re all pigs… once in a while, we can crawl out of the slop, hose ourselves off, and act like human beings.

Homer: Okay it’s the standard Grandpa Drill, everyone into the cellar!

Homer: Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow. Oww! Oh, they’re defending themselves somehow!

Comic Book Guy: No banging your head against the display case, please. It contains a rare copy of Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.

Burn’s Messages read by Homer: “You have 30 minutes to move your car”, “You have 10 minutes”,”Your car has been impounded”, “Your car has been crushed into a cube”, “You have 30 minutes to move your cube”.