Dr. Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously underweight individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.

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It Was a Very Good Beer
When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer,
I purchased with a fake I.D.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was 17.