Grandpa: I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!

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Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman’s club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it’s a felony to lie to the F.B.I.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney’s car eating packets of mustard. You happy?

Homer: Maybe for once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding ‘You’re making a scene’.

Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children.

Hutz: What? AHH!!….. I call for one of those bad court thingies!
Judge: You mean a mistrial?

Homer: Now I’ve had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.