Comic Book Guy: No banging your head against the display case, please. It contains a rare copy of Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.

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Flanders: Calm down, Neddilly-diddily-diddily-diddily…. They did their best…. Shoddilly-iddily-iddily-diddly… Gotta be nice…. hostility-ility-bility-dility- Aw, hell, diddly-ding-dong-crap! Can’t you morons do anything right?

Skinner: His brand of gum- Doublemint. Trying to double your fun, eh, Bart? Well, I’ll double your detention. I wish someone was around to hear that.

Nelson: Society Blows.

Homer: Aww there’s only one beer left and it’s Bart’s!

Mindy: Homer, What’s wrong?
Homer: Like you don’t know! We’re going to have sex!
Mindy: Oh … We don’t have to.
Homer: Yes we do! The cookie told me so.
Mindy: Well, desserts aren’t always right.
Homer: But they’re so sweet and tasty.