Homer: Now I’ve had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.

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Marge: It’s time we opened up a can of whoop tooshie on this situation.

Principal Skinner: Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N., or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

Lisa: I’m an ugmo.
Homer: Now, that’s not true. You’re cute as a bug’s ear.
Lisa: Father’s have to say that little stuff.
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug’s ear?
Grandpa: No. You’re homely as a mule’s butt.
Homer: There. See?

Homer: Are you an angel?
Moe: Yes Homer, all us angels wear Farrah slacks.

Marge: There’s no shame in being a pariah.