Homer: I’m pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I’ll just reach in and pull my legs out … now I’ll pull my arms out with my face.

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Marge: The monkey’s on my part of the sofa.
Homer: Honey, he’s clearly marked his territory.

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
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Moe: That’s the worst name I ever heard.
(Joey runs out of the bar sobbing)
Barney: Hey! Joey Jo Jo!

Homer: I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum!

Homer: Oh, they have the internet on computers now!