Kang (as Clinton): My fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say we must move forward, not backward! Upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!

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Sideshow Bob: Yes, I’m aware of the hypocrisy of appearing on television in order to decry it, so don’t bother pointing that out.

Kent: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: democracy simply-doesn’t-work.

Homer: I sure could go for a hot dog right about now.
Marge: Homer! This is a funeral!
Vendor: HOT DOGS!
Homer: WOO HOO!
Marge: Do you just follow my husband around everywhere?
Vendor: Lady, he’s putting my kids through college.

Marge: If you raise three children who can knock out and hog tie a perfect stranger, you must be doing something right.

Chief Wiggum: Good luck, Ralphie. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you’re picking it too much. Or not enough.