From this experience I understood the danger of focusing only on what isn’t there. What if I came to the end of my life and realized that I’d spent everyday watching for a man who would come for me? What an unbearable sorrow it would be to realize I never tasted the things I’d eaten, or seen the places I’d been, because I’d thought of nothing but the Chairman even while my life was drifting away from me. And yet if I drew my thoughts back from him, what life would I have? I would be like a dancer who had practiced since childhood for a performance she would never give.