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Mark Twain

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

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Mark Twain

take a grip on one villainy of it at a time, and learn it

The steps of one’s progress are distinctly marked. At the end of each lesson he knows he has acquired something, and he also knows what that something is, and likewise that it will stay with him. It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you think you’ve got it, they spring the subjunctive on you, and there you are. No — and I see now, plainly enough, that the great pity about the German language is, that you can’t fall off it and hurt yourself. There is nothing like that feature to make you attend strictly to business. But I also see, by what I have learned of bicycling, that the right and only sure way to learn German is by the bicycling method. That is to say, take a grip on one villainy of it at a time, and learn it — not ease up and shirk to the next, leaving that one half learned.

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Mark Twain

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.

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Mark Twain

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

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Mark Twain

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

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Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug.

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug.

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Mark Twain

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

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Mark Twain

Let us endeavour so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Let us endeavour so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

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Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosper, he will not bite you……this is the principle difference between man and a dog.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosper, he will not bite you……this is the principle difference between man and a dog.

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Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

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Mark Twain

By his father he is English, by his mother he is American– to my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.

By his father he is English, by his mother he is American– to my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.

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Mark Twain

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

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Mark Twain

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.

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Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.

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Mark Twain

When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.

When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.

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Mark Twain

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Mark Twain

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

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Mark Twain

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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Mark Twain

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

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Mark Twain

Thunder is good. Thunder is impressive. But it’s the lightning does the work.

Thunder is good. Thunder is impressive. But it’s the lightning does the work.

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Mark Twain

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

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Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

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Mark Twain

that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike – and yet it is the most precious thing we have.

One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike – and yet it is the most precious thing we have.

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Mark Twain

the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.