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P.G. Wodehouse

Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove.

Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove.

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P.G. Wodehouse

There is no doubt that Jeeves’s pick-me-up will produce immediate results in anything short of an Egyptian mummy.

There is no doubt that Jeeves’s pick-me-up will produce immediate results in anything short of an Egyptian mummy.

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P.G. Wodehouse

I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanor was rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the Down express in the small of the back.

I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanor was rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the Down express in the small of the back.

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P.G. Wodehouse

She’s one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God’s daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She’s a drooper.

She’s one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God’s daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She’s a drooper.

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P.G. Wodehouse

You wouldn’t think it to look at him, because he’s small and shrimplike and never puts on weight, but Gussie loves food. Watching him tucking into his rations at the Drones, a tapeworm would raise its hat respectfully, knowing that it was in the presence of a master.

You wouldn’t think it to look at him, because he’s small and shrimplike and never puts on weight, but Gussie loves food. Watching him tucking into his rations at the Drones, a tapeworm would raise its hat respectfully, knowing that it was in the presence of a master.

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P.G. Wodehouse

Lord Emsworth, whose IQ may be some thirty points below that of an absent minded jellyfish.

Lord Emsworth, whose IQ may be some thirty points below that of an absent minded jellyfish.

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P.G. Wodehouse

You look like Helen of Troy after a good facial.

You look like Helen of Troy after a good facial.

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P.G. Wodehouse

We exchanged significant glances. At least, I gave him a significant glance and he looked like a stuffed frog, his habit when being discreet.

We exchanged significant glances. At least, I gave him a significant glance and he looked like a stuffed frog, his habit when being discreet.

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P.G. Wodehouse

The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotton to say “When!”

The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotton to say “When!”

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P.G. Wodehouse

Bingo uttered a stricken woofle like a bull-dog that has been refused cake.

Bingo uttered a stricken woofle like a bull-dog that has been refused cake.

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P.G. Wodehouse

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

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P.G. Wodehouse

Pongo shuddered, accordingly, and in addition to shuddering uttered a sharp quack of anguish such as might have proceeded from some duck which, sauntering in a reverie beside a duck-pond, had inadvertently stubbed its toe on a broken soda-water bottle.

Pongo shuddered, accordingly, and in addition to shuddering uttered a sharp quack of anguish such as might have proceeded from some duck which, sauntering in a reverie beside a duck-pond, had inadvertently stubbed its toe on a broken soda-water bottle.

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P.G. Wodehouse

The only thing that prevented a father’s love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.

The only thing that prevented a father’s love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.

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P.G. Wodehouse

The fishy glitter in his eye became intensified. He looked like a halibut which had been asked by another halibut to lend it a couple of quid till next Wednesday.

The fishy glitter in his eye became intensified. He looked like a halibut which had been asked by another halibut to lend it a couple of quid till next Wednesday.

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P.G. Wodehouse

He had the look of an ostrich that had swallowed a door knob.

He had the look of an ostrich that had swallowed a door knob.

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P.G. Wodehouse

He blinked, like some knight of King Arthur’s court, who, galloping to perform a deed of derring-do, has had the misfortune to collide witha tree.

He blinked, like some knight of King Arthur’s court, who, galloping to perform a deed of derring-do, has had the misfortune to collide witha tree.

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P.G. Wodehouse

It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.