Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Category: Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver (July 17, 1917 – August 20, 2012), better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.
We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Living in Hollywood is like living in a lit cigar butt.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.