Tom’s Wife: Tom never has two cups of coffee at home.
Airplane! (titled Flying High! in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Japan, and the Philippines) is a 1980 American satirical comedy film directed and written by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker and released by Paramount Pictures. It stars Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty and features Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Lorna Patterson. The film is a parody of the disaster film genre, particularly the 1957 Paramount film Zero Hour!, which it follows fairly closely, with superficial changes. For example, Ted Striker was Ted Stryker in the older film. The film is known for its use of absurd and fast-paced slapstick comedy, including visual and verbal puns and gags.
McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop smoking
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop taking amphetamines.
Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Ted: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine: When will you be back?
Ted: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.
Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.
Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
What kind of plane is it?
Reporter: What kind of plane is it?
Eugene: Well, it’s a really pretty white one with little round windows and it looks like a big tylenol!
What do you make out of this?
McCroskey: What do you make out of this?
Eugene: This? I can make a hat, or a broach, or a teradactyl!
McCroskey: Gimme that!