Categories
Clerks

You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.

Silent Bob: You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.

Categories
Clerks

Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that’s what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

Dante: Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that’s what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

Categories
Clerks

You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that’s eerie…

Dante Hicks: You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that’s eerie…

Categories
Clerks

I’m offering you my body and you’re offering me semantics.

Veronica: I’m offering you my body and you’re offering me semantics.

Categories
Clerks

Which did you like better? “Jedi” or “The Empire Strikes Back”?

Randal: Which did you like better? “Jedi” or “The Empire Strikes Back”?
Dante: “Empire”.
Randal: Blasphemy!
Dante: “Empire” had the better ending. Luke loses his hand and finds out Vader is his father. Han is frozen and captured by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. Just like in real life. All “Jedi” had was a bunch of Muppets.

Categories
Clerks

But you hate people.

Dante Hicks: But you hate people.
Randal: Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?

Categories
Clerks

I’m not even supposed to be here today!

Dante: I’m not even supposed to be here today!

Categories
Clerks

(to Veronica) Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. (To man who turns and follows Veronica) Hey, hey you get back here!

Dante: (to Veronica) Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. (To man who turns and follows Veronica) Hey, hey you get back here!

Categories
Clerks

Noise, noise, noise, smokin’ weed, smokin’ weed, doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers. Pack o’ wraps, my good man, it’s time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed.

Jay: Noise, noise, noise, smokin’ weed, smokin’ weed, doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers. Pack o’ wraps, my good man, it’s time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed.