Categories
Empire Records

Who glued these quarters down?

Warren: Who glued these quarters down?
A.J.: I did.
Warren: What the hell for, man?
A.J.: I don’t feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.

Categories
Empire Records

Mark, who’s your favorite singer?

Lucas: Mark, who’s your favorite singer?
Mark: Axl.
Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Mark:… Does Axl have a jack?

Categories
Empire Records

$9104. I counted it… twice.

Lucas: $9104. I counted it… twice.
Lady at Craps Table: I like your style.
Lucas: Well Joe told me to count it twice…

Categories
Empire Records

I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.

Lucas: I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.

Categories
Empire Records

How old are you?

Joe: How old are you?
Warren: Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall.
Joe: Yeah, he’s a juvenile.

Categories
Empire Records

Damn the man. Save the Empire.

Mark: Damn the man. Save the Empire.

Categories
Empire Records

In the immortal words of The Doors, ‘The time to hesitate is through.’

Lucas: In the immortal words of The Doors, ‘The time to hesitate is through.’

Categories
Empire Records

Actually, his new album tested well among teenage males.

Jane: Actually, his new album tested well among teenage males.
Lucas: Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans to the incidence of homosexuality amongst teenage males?

Categories
Empire Records

Warren, look what you took.

Lucas: Warren, look what you took.
Lucas: Rap… metal… rap… metal… And Whitney Houston.
Warren: It’s for my girlfriend, okay?
Lucas: Suuure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Warren: Maybe you bite me.

Categories
Empire Records

Lucas, do you think it’s possible for a person to be in love with someone else and not even know it?

A.J.: Lucas, do you think it’s possible for a person to be in love with someone else and not even know it?
Lucas: In this life there are nothing but possibilities.
A.J.: Well, that’s good, because I have to tell Corey I love her by 1:37.
Lucas: That’s an excellent time.

Categories
Empire Records

Hey, Lucas. I’ve decided I’m going to start a band.

Mark: Hey, Lucas. I’ve decided I’m going to start a band.
Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you’ll know what kind of band you’ve got.
Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark: Well my name is with a K, so I was thinking my band’s name could be with a C. That way it’s kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas: Always play with their minds.

Categories
Empire Records

Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

Categories
Empire Records

This music is the glue of the world Mark. It’s what holds it all together. Without this, life would be meaningless.

Eddie: This music is the glue of the world Mark. It’s what holds it all together. Without this, life would be meaningless.
Mark: Hey, did you hear about Lucas?
Eddie: Hey Lucas man, I hear you went to Vegas and you married a mobster’s wife and now you’ve got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?
Lucas: Not entirely true.
Eddie: Well outlaw man, we salute you.
Lucas: Thank you Eddie.
Eddie: No problem.

Categories
Empire Records

Hey Lucas, is it true you committed the perfect crime?

Debra: Hey Lucas, is it true you committed the perfect crime?
Lucas: Not entirely perfect.

Categories
Empire Records

I went to rock and roll heaven, and I wasn’t on the guest list.

Debra: I went to rock and roll heaven, and I wasn’t on the guest list.

Categories
Empire Records

Joe, is it O.K. if I leave the couch? ‘Cause I’m gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I’m leaving.

Lucas: Joe, is it O.K. if I leave the couch? ‘Cause I’m gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I’m leaving.

Categories
Empire Records

Mitchell’s the man Joe.

Lucas: Mitchell’s the man Joe.
Joe: And the man calls all the shots.
Lucas: Damn the man.
Joe: Let me explain it to you. Mitchell’s the man. I’m the idiot. You’re the screw-up. And we’re all losers. Welcome to music town.

Categories
Empire Records

Welcome to MusicTown, may I service you?

Gina: Welcome to MusicTown, may I service you?

Categories
Empire Records

Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?

Eddie: Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?
A.J.: It’s near Boston.
Eddie: No I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It’s another planet man- another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I’m trying to say is, you and Corey just aren’t made for each other. She’s different from you.

Categories
Empire Records

What’s with you today? Yesterday you were normal and today you’re like the Karate Kid. What’s with you today?

AJ: What’s with you today? Yesterday you were normal and today you’re like the Karate Kid. What’s with you today?
Lucas: What’s with today today?

Categories
Empire Records

You know what Joe? One of these days I’m gonna show you little people.

Mark: You know what Joe? One of these days I’m gonna show you little people.