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Life of Brian

Blessed are the cheesemakers.

Man: Blessed are the cheesemakers.

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Life of Brian

He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

Brian’s Mother: He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

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Life of Brian

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace – shut up!
Reg: There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.
Dissenter: Uh, well, one.
Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there’s one. But otherwise, we’re solid.

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Life of Brian

I am not the Messiah!

Brian: I am not the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I’ve followed a few.

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Life of Brian

We were led by a star.

Wise man: We were led by a star.
Brian’s mother: Led by a bottle, you mean.

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Life of Brian

Always look on the bright side of life, da dum, da dum da dum da dum…

Brian: Always look on the bright side of life, da dum, da dum da dum da dum…

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Life of Brian

From now on, I want you all to call me… ‘Loretta’

Stan: From now on, I want you all to call me… ‘Loretta’

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Life of Brian

He said Jehovah!

Angry citizen: He said Jehovah!

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Life of Brian

Okay, sir, my final offer

Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?