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Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Del, why did you kiss my ear?

Neal: Del, why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: Where is your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows.
Neal: Those aren’t pillows!

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Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Was that seat hot or what? I feel like a Whopper. Turn me over, I’m done and ready. I’m afraid to look at my ass. There’ll be grill marks.

Del: Was that seat hot or what? I feel like a Whopper. Turn me over, I’m done and ready. I’m afraid to look at my ass. There’ll be grill marks.

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Planes, Trains & Automobiles

What do you suppose the temperature is?

Neal: What do you suppose the temperature is?
Del: One.

Categories
Planes, Trains & Automobiles

You’re like one of those Chatty Cathy dolls except I’m not pulling the string, you are. Blah! Blah! Blah!

Neal: You’re like one of those Chatty Cathy dolls except I’m not pulling the string, you are. Blah! Blah! Blah!

Categories
Planes, Trains & Automobiles

We’d have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.

Del Griffith: We’d have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.

Categories
Planes, Trains & Automobiles

He says we’re going the wrong way…

Neal Page: He says we’re going the wrong way…
Del Griffith: Oh, he’s drunk. How would he know where we’re going?

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Planes, Trains & Automobiles

What the hell are you driving here?

Police Officer: What the hell are you driving here?
Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in a nick of time.
Police Officer: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it’s very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

Categories
Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Her first born come out sideways, she didn’t scream or nothin.

Owen: Her first born come out sideways, she didn’t scream or nothin.

Categories
Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Do you feel this vehicle is safe for the highways?

Officer: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for the highways?
Del: Yes. Yes sir I do.