Mrs. Taylor: Dr. Hathaway, I saw your show the other night on radioactive isotopes and I’ve got a question for you.
Dr. Hathaway: Yes?
Mrs. Taylor: Is that your real hair?
Category: Real Genius
Real Genius is a 1985 science fiction comedy film directed by Martha Coolidge. The film's screenplay was written by Neal Israel, Pat Proft, and Peter Torokvei.
Dr. Hathaway: What’s that smell?
Chris: Must be the dog.
Dr. Hathaway: That’s popcorn.
Chris: Yes sir, I know.
Dr. Hathaway: Get it away from me, I can’t stand popcorn, I hate popcorn.
Chris: Good, now I know what to get you for your birthday.
Chris Knight: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
Decker: She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
Chris Knight: Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I’m disgusted. I’m sorry but it’s not like me, I’m depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races and we had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?
Jordan: I never sleep, I don’t know why. I had a roomate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she’s okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don’t know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, ’cause I’m just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?
Chris Knight: There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.
Chris Knight: Your mom puts license plates in your underwear! How do you sit?
Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, “I drank what?”
Chris Knight: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.
Chris Knight: What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jello?
Kent: That’s a lie!
Chris Knight: This is true!
Kent: Hey, I was hot and I was hungry!
Chris Knight: As you know, Mitch and I were working on the cyanide system. Well, eariler today it ate itself. But, these little set-backs are just what we need to take a giant step forward. Right, Kent? Needless to say, I was a little despondent about the melt down, but then, it the midst of my preparations for hari kiri, it came to me. It is possible to synthesize excited bromide in an argon matrix. It’s an excimer frozen in its excited state.
Bodey: Th…That’s impossible.
Knight: It’s a chemical laser but in solid, not gaseous, form. Put simply, in deference to you, Kent, it’s like lasing a stick of dynamite. As soon as we apply a field, we couple to a state, it is radiatively coupled to the ground state. I figure we can extract at least 10 to the 21st photons per cubic centimeter which will give one kilojoule per cubic centimeter at 600 nanometers, or, one megajoule per liter.