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Reality Bites

If I could bottle the sexual tension between Bonnie Franklin and Shnyder, I could solve the energy crisis.

Troy: If I could bottle the sexual tension between Bonnie Franklin and Shnyder, I could solve the energy crisis.

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Reality Bites

Troy, aren’t you excited?

Lelaina: Troy, aren’t you excited?
Troy: I’m bursting with fruit flavor.

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Reality Bites

Why can’t things just go back to normal at the end of the half hour, like on the Brady Bunch?

Lelaina: Why can’t things just go back to normal at the end of the half hour, like on the Brady Bunch?
Troy: Well, ’cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS.

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Reality Bites

You got fired? I mean, that just screws up my whole idea of good and evil and God.

Sammy: You got fired? I mean, that just screws up my whole idea of good and evil and God.

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Reality Bites

Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

Vickie: Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

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Reality Bites

One of these days I’m gonna wake up, before noon-

Troy: One of these days I’m gonna wake up, before noon-
Lelaina: Yeah right.

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Reality Bites

He’s so cheesy, I can’t watch him without crackers.

Lelaina: He’s so cheesy, I can’t watch him without crackers.

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Reality Bites

Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you, because excuse me if somebody doesn’t know the secret handshake with you.

Michael: Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you, because excuse me if somebody doesn’t know the secret handshake with you.
Troy: There’s no secret handshake. There’s an IQ prerequisite, but there’s no secret handshake.

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Reality Bites

Don’t Bogart that can, man…

Vickie: Don’t Bogart that can, man…
Troy: Are you retarded?
Vickie: No, I’m rhyming. It’s not easy. Sure I make it look easy…

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Reality Bites

What happened is that um, I kinda got this arcane glimpse of the universe and the best thing I can say about that is… I don’t know.

Troy: What happened is that um, I kinda got this arcane glimpse of the universe and the best thing I can say about that is… I don’t know.

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Reality Bites

Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don’t you think it would be so much easier?

Vickie: Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don’t you think it would be so much easier?
Lelaina: Sometimes, but I don’t know. I could never go through with it. I’d start laughing or something.
Vickie: That is such a shame because I have had it with men.

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Reality Bites

Evian is naive spelled backward.

Vickie: Evian is naive spelled backward.

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Reality Bites

(answering the phone) Hello, you’ve reached the winter of our discontent.

Troy: (answering the phone) Hello, you’ve reached the winter of our discontent.

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Reality Bites

Ta da. We’re going to eat gas.

Vicki: Ta da. We’re going to eat gas.

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Reality Bites

Would the two of you just do it and get it over with? I’m starving!

Vickie: Would the two of you just do it and get it over with? I’m starving!

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Reality Bites

I am the only real thing you have.

Troy: I am the only real thing you have.

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Reality Bites

Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water? Or was it his in-depth analysis of, uh, uh, Marky Mark that finally reeled you in?

Troy Dyer: Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water? Or was it his in-depth analysis of, uh, uh, Marky Mark that finally reeled you in?

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Reality Bites

He’s the reason Cliffs Notes were invented.

Troy: He’s the reason Cliffs Notes were invented.

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Reality Bites

Are you religious?

Lelaina Pierce: Are you religious?
Michael Grates: Um, uh, I guess uh, I guess I’m, uh a non-practicing Jew.
Lelaina Pierce: Hey, I’m a non-practicing virgin.

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Reality Bites

So what do you say, Lelaina?

Troy: So what do you say, Lelaina?
Lelaina: I’m not a valedictorian but I play one on tv.
Troy: We all know you slept your way to the podium.

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Reality Bites

My favorite part about graduating now will be dodging my student loan officer for the rest of my life. He will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy who’s been after my ass for years.

Vicky: My favorite part about graduating now will be dodging my student loan officer for the rest of my life. He will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy who’s been after my ass for years.

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Reality Bites

It’s cool, Troy, you can stay. Welcome to the maxi-pad.

Vicky: It’s cool, Troy, you can stay. Welcome to the maxi-pad.
Sammy: Yeah, with new dry-weave it actually pulls moisture away from you.