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Sliding Doors

Who are you on the rebound from?

Helen: Who are you on the rebound from?
James: A girl called Pamela. It was 1974. We were eight. She left me for Gary Glitter. Gary Glitter!! All the other fellows were getting left for Greg Brady and Donny Osmond. I mean, I could have come to terms with that, given time, but Gary Glitter?? Oh she wanted to touch him there, yeah.

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Sliding Doors

What are you doing Saturday?

James: What are you doing Saturday?
Helen: Probably killing myself.
James: Excellent. What time does that finish? Do you like boats?

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Sliding Doors

Gerry! I’m a woman! We don’t say what we want! But we do reserve the right to be pissed off if we don’t get it. It’s the thing that makes us fascinating! And not a little bit scary.

Lydia: Gerry! I’m a woman! We don’t say what we want! But we do reserve the right to be pissed off if we don’t get it. It’s the thing that makes us fascinating! And not a little bit scary.

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Sliding Doors

I kissed you.

Helen: I kissed you.
James: You noticed that too?
Helen: Could you just put that down to a lapse in concentration?
James: Is that what it was?
Helen: No. Yes. Ohhh I don’t know.
James: Listen, Helen, I don’t want to be a complication in your life. I just that something’s happened to me since I met you that I just wasn’t expecting. I just.. I just wasn’t expecting to feel like… Repetition of ‘expeting’ must buy a thesaurus.

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Sliding Doors

Hello? Why did you call me Russell? You know I hate that. Gerry?

Lydia: Hello? Why did you call me Russell? You know I hate that. Gerry?
Helen: No, actually it’s Helen. The last time we met I interrupted you faking your orgasm. I’m sorry I can’t be more specific. (puts the phone down)
Gerry: You know what I was thinking? Helen? You’re not leaving??
Helen: You’re a wanker, Gerry. A sad, sad wanker.

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Sliding Doors

Look, James. I feel really bad about this. You know, under normal circumstances, etcetra etcetra. You seem like a nice guy. You’re funny, my friend Anna thinks you’re cute…

Helen: Look, James. I feel really bad about this. You know, under normal circumstances, etcetra etcetra. You seem like a nice guy. You’re funny, my friend Anna thinks you’re cute…
James: Wait. Wait! Your friend Anna thinks I’m cute?? Your friend ANNA thinks I’m cute? I just blew, what is this, two eighty five on the wrong girl!

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Sliding Doors

Helen, sometimes God puts us with people just to cheer them up. I mean, I’m having a good time out with a moderatly attractive woman, but that’s it. I’m not looking to overstep my bounds…. by the way, do you prefer diamonds or sapphires? Oops. Sorry.

James: Helen, sometimes God puts us with people just to cheer them up. I mean, I’m having a good time out with a moderatly attractive woman, but that’s it. I’m not looking to overstep my bounds…. by the way, do you prefer diamonds or sapphires? Oops. Sorry.
Helen: Moderately attractive?
James: See? I knew you were paying attention! I don’t know, lose the sad mouth, the meloncholy expression and I could get you an upgrade.

Categories
Sliding Doors

So let me get this straight, Helen walked in on you and Lydia and she won’t talk to you and Lydia’s broken up with you.

Russell: So let me get this straight, Helen walked in on you and Lydia and she won’t talk to you and Lydia’s broken up with you.
Gerry: Yeah. What happend?
Russell: Well, to use boxing parlance if I may. Son, you just lost.

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Sliding Doors

You did remember to take out an ad in “Adulterers Weekly”?

Gerry: You did remember to take out an ad in “Adulterers Weekly”?