Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You’re poor enough.
Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You’re rich enough.
Rizzo the Rat: Got ‘im there. The old boy’s speechless.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Nephew, if I could work my will any idiot who goes around with a Merry Christmas on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.
Rizzo the Rat: Well, not quite speechless.
Category: The Muppet Christmas Carol
The Muppet Christmas Carol is a 1992 American musical fantasy-comedy film and an adaptation of Charles Dickens's 1843 novel A Christmas Carol.
Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat. Light the lamp! Not the rat!
After all, there’s only one more sleep ’til Christmas.
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Oh, what was that?
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, what was that?
Gonzo: Two o’clock.
Rizzo the Rat: Is it too early for breakfast?
Gonzo: Yes.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh good, suppertime!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.
Gonzo: It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I intend to raise your salary.
Miss Piggy: And I intend to raise you right off the pavement.
Rizzo the Rat: Rats don’t understand these things.
Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters.
Sam the Eagle: Oh, you will love business. It is the American way.
Gonzo: Uh, Sam?
Sam the Eagle: Oh. It is the British way!
Gonzo: I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.
Robert Marley: We were always heckling you.
Jacob Marley: It’s good to be heckling again.
Robert Marley: It’s good to be doing anything again.
Jacob Marley: Why do you doubt your senses?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Because a little thing can effect them. A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes. There’s more gravy than of grave about you.
Robert Marley: More gravy than of grave?
Jacob Marley: What a terrible pun. Where’d you get those jokes?
Robert Marley: Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer.
Ebenezer Scrooge: What an employer he was. As hard and ruthless as a rose petal.
Ebenezer Scrooge: What business has brought you here?
Ghost of Christmas Past: Your welfare.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Heh, a night’s unbroken rest might aid my welfare.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Your salvation, then.
Ebenezer Scrooge: You’re a little absent-minded, spirit.
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, I am a large absent-minded spirit.
Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me: never eat singing food.
Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Robert Marley: And it is a tradition for us to take a little nap.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas at this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were pretty much all the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.