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The Muppet Christmas Carol

What right have you to be merry? You’re poor enough.

Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You’re poor enough.
Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You’re rich enough.
Rizzo the Rat: Got ‘im there. The old boy’s speechless.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Nephew, if I could work my will any idiot who goes around with a Merry Christmas on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.
Rizzo the Rat: Well, not quite speechless.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Light the lamp, not the rat. Light the lamp! Not the rat!

Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat. Light the lamp! Not the rat!

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

After all, there’s only one more sleep ’til Christmas.

After all, there’s only one more sleep ’til Christmas.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Oh, what was that?

Rizzo the Rat: Oh, what was that?
Gonzo: Two o’clock.
Rizzo the Rat: Is it too early for breakfast?
Gonzo: Yes.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh good, suppertime!

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.

Gonzo: It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

I intend to raise your salary.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I intend to raise your salary.
Miss Piggy: And I intend to raise you right off the pavement.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Rats don’t understand these things.

Rizzo the Rat: Rats don’t understand these things.
Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Oh, you will love business. It is the American way.

Sam the Eagle: Oh, you will love business. It is the American way.
Gonzo: Uh, Sam?
Sam the Eagle: Oh. It is the British way!

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

I am here to tell the story.

Gonzo: I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

We were always heckling you.

Robert Marley: We were always heckling you.
Jacob Marley: It’s good to be heckling again.
Robert Marley: It’s good to be doing anything again.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Why do you doubt your senses?

Jacob Marley: Why do you doubt your senses?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Because a little thing can effect them. A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes. There’s more gravy than of grave about you.
Robert Marley: More gravy than of grave?
Jacob Marley: What a terrible pun. Where’d you get those jokes?
Robert Marley: Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

What an employer he was. As hard and ruthless as a rose petal.

Ebenezer Scrooge: What an employer he was. As hard and ruthless as a rose petal.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

What business has brought you here?

Ebenezer Scrooge: What business has brought you here?
Ghost of Christmas Past: Your welfare.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Heh, a night’s unbroken rest might aid my welfare.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Your salvation, then.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

You’re a little absent-minded, spirit.

Ebenezer Scrooge: You’re a little absent-minded, spirit.
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, I am a large absent-minded spirit.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Mother always taught me: never eat singing food.

Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me: never eat singing food.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Robert Marley: And it is a tradition for us to take a little nap.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Let us see another Christmas at this place.

Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas at this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were pretty much all the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.