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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn’t jump to conclusions. I took a small step, and conclusions there were.

Buffy: I didn’t jump to conclusions. I took a small step, and conclusions there were.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Guys. Take a moment to deal with all this. We survived.

Oz: Guys. Take a moment to deal with all this. We survived.
Buffy: It was a hell of a battle.
Oz: Not the battle. High school.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is.

Giles: Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is…it has no texture, no context. It’s there and then it’s gone. If it’s to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible. It should be, um, smelly.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

My mummy used to sing to me to sleep…I wonder what your mummy will sing when they find your body?

Druscilla: My mummy used to sing to me to sleep…I wonder what your mummy will sing when they find your body?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

That’s okay, I don’t wanna go. I’m just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music…the music of pain.

Xander: That’s okay, I don’t wanna go. I’m just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music…the music of pain.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yes, always behind on terms. I’m still trying not to refer to you lot as ‘bloody colonials.’

Giles: Yes, always behind on terms. I’m still trying not to refer to you lot as ‘bloody colonials.’

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

We’re right behind you, only further back.

Xander: We’re right behind you, only further back.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Whoa! Well, now, that was a little thoughtless. Violent outbursts like that in front of the children. You know Mr. Giles, they look to you to see how to behave.

The Mayor (after Giles stabs him): Whoa! Well, now, that was a little thoughtless. Violent outbursts like that in front of the children. You know Mr. Giles, they look to you to see how to behave.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I have my pride. Okay, I don’t have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can’t do this.

Xander: I have my pride. Okay, I don’t have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can’t do this.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I am the bug man, kew, kew, katchoo.

Xander: I am the bug man, kew, kew, katchoo.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A lot of educators tell students, ‘Think of your principal as your pal.’ I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner.

Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, ‘Think of your principal as your pal.’ I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You’ll do what? Lick me to death?

Spike: Passions is on! Timmy’s down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I’ll…
Giles: You’ll do what? Lick me to death?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it’s kind of my job.

Buffy: Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it’s kind of my job.
Spike: For now.
Buffy: What, you want me to stop working?
Spike: Let’s see. Do I want you to give up killing my friends? Yeah, I’ve given it some thought.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Well, not much goes on in a one-Starbucks town like Sunnydale.

Xander: Well, not much goes on in a one-Starbucks town like Sunnydale.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?

Cordelia: So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I’m 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?

Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?
Buffy: Duh, yes!

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I know Principal Flutie would have said, ‘Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.’ That’s the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

Principal Snyder: I know Principal Flutie would have said, ‘Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.’ That’s the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I like people. They’re like Happy Meals with legs.

Spike: I like people. They’re like Happy Meals with legs.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I don’t believe this is entirely on the up and up.

Willow (looking at Xander’s fake ID): I don’t believe this is entirely on the up and up.
Xander: What gives it away?
Willow: Looking at it.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You don’t need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.

Anya: You don’t need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they’re less private when they’re in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we’re not your friends; go on.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Sometimes I like to crumble the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.

Spike: Sometimes I like to crumble the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You can’t trust guys.

Faith: You can’t trust guys.
Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really, I’ve read about them.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Well, ’cause you never know if a girl’s gonna say yes or if she’s gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still-beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.

Xander: Well, ’cause you never know if a girl’s gonna say yes or if she’s gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still-beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Look, I know you find me attractive; I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive; I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.