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Life's Work

Greeting all! Remember, only fifteen more shoplifting days til Christmas!

Jerome Nash: Greeting all! Remember, only fifteen more shoplifting days til Christmas!

Categories
Life's Work

I think it’s time for a new car, Lis.

Kevin: I think it’s time for a new car, Lis.
Lisa: Why? This is a great car! So what if the doors won’t open and we need a rock to park uphill?

Categories
Life's Work

At the risk of associating my car with my manhood, I want a big one that works!

Kevin: At the risk of associating my car with my manhood, I want a big one that works!

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Life's Work

Yes, I’d like to order some flowers for my husband. Yeah, how much is the big “Please Forgive Me” bouquet? … Okay, how ’bout the small “Please Get Over It” bouquet?

Lisa: Yes, I’d like to order some flowers for my husband. Yeah, how much is the big “Please Forgive Me” bouquet? … Okay, how ’bout the small “Please Get Over It” bouquet?

Categories
Life's Work

So, the kids are asleep.

Lisa: So, the kids are asleep.
Kevin: Great.
Lisa: Anything good on tv?
Kevin: Not really.
Lisa: So, you wanna fight?
Kevin: Yeah, why not?

Categories
Life's Work

Your grandpa was the greatest cop ever. He was like Baretta, Starsky, Hutch, McMillan AND wife, McCloud, all rolled into one. He was like Raymond Burr at the end

Lisa Hunter: Your grandpa was the greatest cop ever. He was like Baretta, Starsky, Hutch, McMillan AND wife, McCloud, all rolled into one. He was like Raymond Burr at the end: just one big ball of cop. You have no idea who I’m talking about, do you?
Tess Hunter: Yes, I do. There’s a cable channel that plays old peoples’ TV.

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Life's Work

Lisa, when will all the lies end?

Connie Minardi: Lisa, when will all the lies end?
Lisa Hunter: Twelve-thirty-seven. Then we’re gonna lie some more from two to four, followed by cocktails and more lying.

Categories
Life's Work

Daddy, Tina Hobbs said you were getting canned, so I put gum in her hair. What’s canned?

Tess Hunter: Daddy, Tina Hobbs said you were getting canned, so I put gum in her hair. What’s canned?
Lisa Hunter: It’s like summer vacation, except with $118 a month from the government.