Alex Dunphy: Could you L a little less OL?
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Category: Modern Family
Modern Family is an American television sitcom that premiered on ABC on September 23, 2009, which follows the lives of Jay Pritchett and his family, all of whom live in suburban Los Angeles.
Mitchell Pritchett: Cam thinks that if he were straight, he and Julia Roberts would be dating.
Cameron Tucker: I met her once at an AIDS walk and we had a real connection.
Mitchell Pritchett: You handed her a bottle of water.
Cameron Tucker: Her hand lingered.
Mitchell Pritchett: Because you wouldn’t let go.
Cameron Tucker: She looks like she was dipped in glue and dragged through a flea market.
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We bought matchy hats.
Cameron: I do not pick her up early from preschool.
Mitchell: Lily, did daddy pick you up early from preschool?
Lily: No.
Cameron: See? Case closed.
Lily: We didn’t go.
Mitchell: Case open.
Lily: We went shopping.
Cameron:All right, Lily.
Lily: We bought matchy hats.
Cameron: You’re going to your room.
Mitchell: You’re both going to her room.
Phil: It’s just one of those things we’ll never know, like what happened to the Titanic.
Claire: It hit an iceberg.
Phil: Maybe.
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Why did we come here again?
Hank: Okay, people, looks like we have a walker. Right now he is facing treacherous terrain, sudden drops, mountain lions, hungry bears… oh, and wolverines. That is if the hypothermia didn’t already get him.
Claire Dunphy: Why did we come here again?
Haley: Mom, don’t do it! She’ll be in the same class as I am! Why are you even taking second year math?
Alex: You’re a senior. Why are you still in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again.
Mitchell Pritchett: Okay, just to be clear: This is low key?
Cameron Tucker: It’s just a banner and some light musical accompaniment. I don’t have a lower key.
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I could so be a womanizer.
Cameron Tucker: I could so be a womanizer.
Mitchell Pritchett: Or you could be someone who just stepped out of a machine called the Womanizer.
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“Buffalo Phil”. Worth the wait.
Hank: You two are gonna take to the north hiking trail.
Haley Dunphy: Can I go with my dad instead?
Hank: Negative. I need Buffalo Phil and old-timer to check the Snake River.
Phil Dunphy: “Buffalo Phil”. Worth the wait.
Phil: Everyone throws up at school once in a while. If I had a nickel for every time I threw up in class, you know how much money I would have?
Luke: Thirty-five cents.
Phil: That’s right.
Luke Dunphy: Can you keep a secret?
Mitchell Pritchett: Well, I kept a pretty big one for twenty-two years.
Jay Pritchett: This salsa dancing, how hard is it to learn?
Manny Delgado: Not hard at all. It’s about tapping into your emotions, your passion, your inner fire.
Jay Pritchett: Crap.
Claire: Are those jazz dancing shoes?
Phil: Tightrope walking shoes. Got them on sale, only used once.
Claire: That’s not a ringing endorsement.
Haley: Her hand’s in the air, like, every five seconds, and she actually reminded Mr. Waters to assign homework. The class loved that. Do you know how embarrassed I was?
Alex: Not as embarrassed as I was when she said eight was a prime number.
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Where’s a cliff when you need one?
Dylan: I’ve never been this far from home before. Now I’ve never been this far. Now I’ve never been this far.
Claire Dunphy: Where’s a cliff when you need one?
Luke Dunphy: No offense, dad, but I’ve seen you with a glue gun, and I think a nail would be harder to get out of my hair.
Cameron Tucker: You’re an amazing girl, Katie. You are the full package. I just prefer someone who has one.
Phil Dunphy: What was on my mind as I was walking that wire? I was thinking, if I can do this… then I have two ways to cross the yard.
Luke: I’ve been thinking of moving out for some time now. There’s a line of ants going to a trick-or-treat bag in my closet, and I don’t want to still be here when they get sick of candy.
Luke Dunphy: You can do it, dad! You’re making the impossible unimpossible!
Jay Pritchett: Usually, I say no to drugs, but I thought, just this once… and I figured, if I was going to make an ass of myself, at least I wouldn’t remember it.
Mitchell Pritchett: That drug I gave him? Baby aspirin, orange flavored. He could have chewed it.
Jay Pritchett: Rainbows. It’s just colors in the sky. Do we have to take a picture every time we see one?
Cameron: I’m fairly gay. I don’t know why I just said that. I’m totally gay. Just … gay.
Phil Dunphy: What’cha got there?
Claire Dunphy: These are supplies for the crafts table. I finally figured out what we’re gonna be making.
Phil Dunphy: Kids bored?