Categories
The Lorax

So you’re telling me that you didn’t see me magically appear out of that stump.

The Lorax: So you’re telling me that you didn’t see me magically appear out of that stump. With all the thunder and lightning. You didn’t see any of that?
Once-ler: No. But, that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?
The Lorax: Yeah, I could show you. But that’s not how it works.

Categories
The Sopranos

I find I have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you have any qualms about how you actually make a living?
Tony Soprano: Yeah. I find I have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.

Categories
Sherlock

Why have I got this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me.

Holmes: Why have I got this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me.
Lestrade: Yeah, it’s for shock.
Holmes: I’m not in shock.
Lestrade: Yeah, but some of the guys want to take photographs.

Categories
Moonlight and Valentino

I love your face. It always brings me peace.

Rebecca: I love your face. It always brings me peace.

Categories
Megamind

Oh, you’re a villain all right, just not a super one.

Megamind: You dare challenge Megamind?
Titan: This town isn’t big enough for two supervillains!
Megamind: Oh, you’re a villain all right, just not a super one.
Titan: Oh yeah? What’s the difference?
Megamind: Presentation!

Categories
The Office (U.S.)

The purse girl hits everything on my checklist.

Dwight: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Categories
Rhoda

you don’t let that stethoscope linger a little?

Dr. Henry Gerber: Should we go into the examination room?
Ida Morgenstern: Alright, where’s the woman who’s going to examine me?
Dr. Henry Gerber: I’m going to examine you.
Ida Morgenstern: You? Why?
Dr. Henry Gerber: Why? Why do you think?
Ida Morgenstern: Because I think you get your kicks from seeing a woman my age naked.
Dr. Henry Gerber: Mrs. Morgenstern, I examine naked people all day long. I’ve been doing it for over 20 years.
Ida Morgenstern: Aw, come on doctor, you mean to say if uh, you don’t see an extraordinary body, you don’t let that stethoscope linger a little?

Categories
Mary Tyler Moore

I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

Rhoda Morgenstern: I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

Categories
Mary Tyler Moore

It’s a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn’t you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon.

Rhoda Morgenstern: It’s a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn’t you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.

Categories
Arrested Development

You can’t just comb that out and reset it?

Lucille: Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
Michael: You can’t just comb that out and reset it?

Categories
Georges Bernanos

Appearances are nothing…. And first of all they should not be feared, they are only dangerous to the weak.

Appearances are nothing…. And first of all they should not be feared, they are only dangerous to the weak.

Categories
Oscar Wilde

Appearance blinds, whereas words reveal.

Appearance blinds, whereas words reveal.

Categories
William Hazlitt

Look up, laugh loud, talk big

Look up, laugh loud, talk big, keep the colour in your cheek and the fire in your eye, adorn your person, maintain your health, your beauty, and your animal spirits, and you will pass for a fine man.

Categories
Alfred Tennyson

Half light, half shade, She stood, a sight to make an old man young.

Half light, half shade,
She stood, a sight to make an old man young.

Categories
Sports Night

I think you would look like Colonel Sanders.

Dana: How much do you love me?
Dan: I want to grow a goatee.
Dana: Very, very bad idea. How much do you love me?
Dan: I think it would look good.
Dana: I think you would look like Colonel Sanders. How much do you love me?
Dan: A little less than I did before the Colonel Sanders thing.

Categories
Parks and Recreation

I had to call in a few favors.

Tom: I had to call in a few favors. But if you don’t call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

Categories
Dolly Parton

It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.

It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.

Categories
Firefly

Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant.

Mal: Okay, help me find our man. He’s supposed to be older, kind of stocky, wears a red sash crossways.
Kaylee: Why does he do that?
Mal: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant. Just help me look.
Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: That’s the buffet table.
Kaylee: Well, how can we be sure, unless we question it?
Mal: Fine. Don’t make yourself sick.

Categories
Red Dwarf

He’s looking so geeky he couldn’t even get into a science-fiction convention.

Ace Rimmer: He’s looking so geeky he couldn’t even get into a science-fiction convention.

Categories
Firefly

There ain’t-a one of us looks the part more than the good doctor.

Mal: There ain’t-a one of us looks the part more than the good doctor. I mean, the pretty fits, soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over—
Simon: All right! Fine, I’ll go. Just… stop describing me.

Categories
Psycho

I think I must have one of those faces you can’t help believing.

Norman Bates: I think I must have one of those faces you can’t help believing.

Categories
Super Troopers

I’ll give you the fat guy for Foster. And uh, how about that stupid guy for Rabbit.

Thorny: I’ll give you the fat guy for Foster. And uh, how about that stupid guy for Rabbit.
Ursula: Well, you’re going to have to be more specific, they’re both kind of fat and stupid.

Categories
The Muppet Movie

Find me a bear and a frog in a brown Studebaker.

Doc Hopper: Find me a bear and a frog in a brown Studebaker.
Max: All I see is a bear and a frog in a rainbow Studebaker.

Categories
Alias

For the record, that’s a question you never have to ask anyone.

Sydney: How do I look?
Dixon: For the record, that’s a question you never have to ask anyone.

Categories
Ally McBeal

So how has it come to this? We’re smart women, we’re fairly attractive.

Ally: So how has it come to this? We’re smart women, we’re fairly attractive.
Renee: I’m even hot.