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A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.

Charlie Brown: Holidays always depress me.
Sally Brown: I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.
Charlie Brown: For Christmas? Already?

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A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

I haven’t even finished eating all of my Halloween candy.

Charlie Brown: We’ve got another holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day is upon us.
Sally Brown: I haven’t even finished eating all of my Halloween candy.

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Sports Night

I’ve named this Thanksgiving. I’m calling it “The Thanksgiving of Mom’s Disapproval.”

Dana: I’ve named this Thanksgiving. I’m calling it “The Thanksgiving of Mom’s Disapproval.” Included on the two-record set are the hit songs “Why Aren’t You Married?” and “Sports Is No Place For An Educated Woman,” and “Didn’t Anyone Ever Tell You How To Cook A Turkey?”

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.

Josh: Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.
Edward: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Josh: Arbor Day.

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A Letter to Three Wives

Can’t we have peace in this house even on New Year’s Eve?

Mrs. Finney: Can’t we have peace in this house even on New Year’s Eve?
Sadie: You got it mixed up with Christmas. New Year’s Eve is when people go back to killing each other.