Categories
New Girl

I wouldn’t exactly call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Nick: Do you guys think I have anger issues?
Schmidt: Well I wouldn’t exactly call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Categories
Sherlock

Fun? There’s a woman lying dead.

Watson: What am I doing here?
Holmes: Helping me make a point.
Watson: I’m supposed to be helping you pay the rent.
Holmes: Yeah, well, this is more fun.
Watson: Fun? There’s a woman lying dead.
Holmes: Perfectly sound analysis but I was hoping you’d go deeper.

Categories
Sherlock

Four people are dead. There’s no time to talk to the police.

Watson: Have you talked to the police?
Holmes: Four people are dead. There’s no time to talk to the police.
Watson: So why are you talking to me?
Holmes: Mrs. Hudson took my skull.
Watson: So I’m basically filling in for the skull?
Holmes: Relax, you’re doing fine.

Categories
Terry Pratchett

there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink

His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools — the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans — and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, “You can’t trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink.”

Categories
Sherlock

Nicotine patch. Helps me think. It’s impossible to sustain a smoking habit in London these days.

Watson: What are you doing?
Holmes: Nicotine patch. Helps me think. It’s impossible to sustain a smoking habit in London these days.
Watson: That’s good news for breathing.
Holmes: Ah, breathing. Breathing’s boring.
Watson: Is that three patches?
Holmes: It’s a three-patch problem.

Categories
William Jefferson Clinton

There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.

There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.

Categories
Alexander Graham Bell

a second sight which enables him to see right through ordinary problems

I had made up my mind to find that for which I was searching even if it required the remainder of my life. After innumerable failures I finally uncovered the principle for which I was searching, and I was astounded at its simplicity. I was still more astounded to discover the principle I had revealed not only beneficial in the construction of a mechanical hearing aid but it served as well as means of sending the sound of the voice over a wire. Another discovery which came out of my investigation was the fact that when a man gives his order to produce a definite result and stands by that order it seems to have the effect of giving him what might be termed a second sight which enables him to see right through ordinary problems. What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it.