People do not come to the Internet so that their bad information can be corrected or their cherished theories disproven. Rather, they ask the electronic oracle to confirm them in their ignorance.
Alex Dunphy: Could you L a little less OL?
I wear a pedometer, a little device that counts every step. It works as a goad, because you walk additional distances to pile up the numbers. The average person walks 2,000 to 3,000 steps a day. I walk 10,000 steps a day. I have lost a lot of weight as a result.
Doing research on the Web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly.
Never believe that technology alone will allow America to prevail as a superpower.
The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life, showing things that never were nor could be.
Starbuck: Why can’t we use the starboard launch tube?
Chief Tyrol: It’s a gift shop now.
Starbuck: Frak me.
Dr Gaius Baltar: I’m going to call my lawyer. He’s the best in the business.
Caprica Six: That wouldn’t be necessary, because in a few hours, no one will be left to charge you with anything.
Baltar: What are you trying to say?
Caprica Six: Humanity’s children are returning home. Today.
Phil: I’m the cool dad. That’s my thing. I’m hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laughing out loud. OMG: Oh my God. WTF: Why the face?
The machine does not isolate us from the great problems of nature but plunges us more deeply into them.
Dowager Countess: Good heavens, what am I sitting on?
Matthew: A swivel chair.
Dowager Countess: Another modern brainwave?
Matthew: Not very modern, they were invented by Thomas Jefferson.
Dowager Countess: Why does every day involve a fight with an American?
Matthew: I’ll fetch a different one.
Dowager Countess: No, no, no, no – I’m a good sailor.
Giles: Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is…it has no texture, no context. It’s there and then it’s gone. If it’s to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible. It should be, um, smelly.
Kryten: Don’t you believe that God exists in all things? Aren’t you a Pantheist?
Lister: Yeah, I just don’t think it applies to kitchen utensils. I’m not a Fryingpantheist.
Lex: It’s a UNIX system! I know this!
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Nothing. Not a single droplet formed. That would satisfy a doctor, that’s what they always did on television – if no mist formed on the mirror, there was no breath. Perhaps, he thought anxiously to himself, perhaps it was something to do with having heated wing mirrors. Didn’t this car have heated wing mirrors? Hadn’t the salesman gone on and on about heated this, electric that, and servo-assisted the other? Maybe they were digital wing mirrors. That was it. Digital, heated, servo-assisted, computer controlled, breath-resistant wing mirrors…
Whatever Zaphod’s qualities of mind might include – dash, bravado, conceit – he was mechanically inept and could easily blow the ship up with an extravagant gesture. Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason why he had had such a wild and successful life that he never really understood the significance of anything he did.
Bishop: I may be synthetic, but I’m not stupid.
Joe: You can’t take something off the Internet. It’s like taking pee out of a swimming pool.
Mal: Ship like this, be with you till the day you die.
Zoe: That’s ’cause it’s a death trap.