I was just idly flicking through an electrical appliance catalogue. I came across the section on super deluxe vacuum cleaners, and suddenly my underpant elastic was catapulted across the Medical Bay.

More from Red Dwarf/Series IV

• He's reached the pinnacle of evolution. He's human.
• It's not easy you know to come in every night, look in that mirror, and see a guy nobody likes.
• At 0700 hours tomorrow morning my shutdown disc will be activated and all mental and physical operations will cease.
• Don't you believe that God exists in all things? Aren't you a Pantheist?
• I'm up and down more often than a pair of kangaroos in the mating season! DNA
• My goodness, I do believe I’m drunk. I suddenly feel the need to strut my funky stuff!