You'd think Mama had never seen a phone. She makes no allowance for science. She thinks she has to cover the distance by sheer lung power.

More from Ann Newton

• God bless mama, papa, Captain Midnight, Veronica Lake, and the President of the United States.
• I’m trying to keep my mind free of things that don’t matter.
• I wish I'd been born in the South. Southern women have a lot of charm.
• The ones that say they don't want anything, always get more in the end.
• 24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day, coincedence? I think not.
• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.