It is to erase the fixed smiles of sleeping couples that Satan trained roosters to crow at five in the morning.

More from Jitterbug Perfume

• Everyone knows that ghosts don't piss!
• Perhaps the most terrible (or wonderful) thing that can happen to an imaginative youth, aside from the curse (or blessing) of imagination itself, is to be exposed without preparation to the life outside his or her own sphere – the sudden revelation that there is a there out there.