Chaotic movie quotes for mischief days

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! (Notices gold swan on edge of tub) Stop looking at me, swan!

My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may talk – SQUIRREL! My master is good and smart.

If you’ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?

Wheeeeeeee! What a predicament!

Shiny! Let’s be bad guys.

I may be bad...but I feel gooood.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Toga! Toga!

Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan!

Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun. You know, start a fire in someone's kitchen, maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off... Anyway, I've become kind of famous for my signature catch-phrase... WHAMMY!. Like, Gene Tenace at the plate... and WHAMMY!

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

My name is Matt Foley, I'm 35, divorced, and I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

I am definitely a madman with a box.

Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

Surgery, sweetie. Lipo, on the hands and stomach, bum lift, tit lift, lose a rib and see what happens with my lips!

Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote... or bears will rise up and then bears will be in congress and we will be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats.

You don’t frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-n-i-g-g-i-t-s.

It is to erase the fixed smiles of sleeping couples that Satan trained roosters to crow at five in the morning.

Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie!

Oh come on Alan, you don't want to quit me, I'm your dream client. I'm rich, I'm the most fun and I'm always in trouble.