Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! (Notices gold swan on edge of tub) Stop looking at me, swan!

More from Billy Madison

• Hey sideburns, you want some of this milk? Janitor. I’d rather have a beer.
• I will not make out with you! Mr. Chlorophyll up there is talking about God knows what and you want to make out with me!? Well I'm here to learn sister. (turning to teacher) Continue.
• If your dog is lost, you don’t look for an hour and call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fuckin dog!
• Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan!
• Okay Mr. Penguin. I'm gonna take you to the zoo where you'll meet some nice people, they'll treat you real respectable like.
• Suntan lotion good for me. It protects me, tee hee hee. Sun is bad, Lotion good. (Squeezes bottle) Phft, phft, phfffnnnnnnnt! Smiley.