She was drunk, in the middle of the afternoon. I mean, it was like Sue Ellen on 'Dallas'.
Eric
You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.
Eric
Opportunity does not knock, then knock again, then leave a note saying "sorry I missed you".
Fez
These after-school specials are thrilling. Who knew that one beer could turn a cheerleader into a whore?
Fez
This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.
Fez
Wow, my first X-rated movie. I don’t know what’s going on, but that is the luckiest pizza boy ever.
Fez
You don’t burn someone who’s already crying!
Hyde
You have the right to remain BURNED!
Kelso
I can't believe that any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames.
Kitty Forman
Oh, my god. I married the Grinch. I'm Mrs. Grinch!
Kitty Forman
Oh, Red, you do care.
Kitty Forman
Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?
Kitty Forman
I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It’s almost a religious experience!
Leo
BURN!
Michael Kelso
If this van's a-rockin'... we're in there doing it.
Michael Kelso
If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.
Michael Kelso
Ooooh! Burn! That’s a burn about a burn! That’s a 2nd degree burn!
Michael Kelso
Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah...
Red Forman
I like the sound of a beer church.
Red Forman
I've been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I've killed people. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it...
Red Forman
Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.
Red Forman
We’re all gonna go to church and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.
Red Forman
What are you going to put on your resume - dumbass?
Red Forman
When my time comes I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Red Forman
When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.
Red Forman
Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
Red Forman
Women are never done with it, son. Anything wrong you do, they sit on it for twenty five years, like an egg. And then it hatches – on Superbowl Sunday.
Red