I hate little notes on my pillow. Like this morning. 'We're all out of cornflakes. F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger. It's not your fault, Felix. It's a rotten combination.

More from The Odd Couple

• I’m a neurotic nut, but you’re crazy!
• In other words, you're saying you want me to leave?
• A suicide telegram? Who sends a suicide telegram?
• A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance!
• For God's sake, do something. Say something.
• Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.