So, I just said, "Mom, Dad, Sparky, I'm gay!"

More from In & Out

• Do I look like a homosexual?
• Howard Brackett is a big homo, queer, Mary, sissy man! He just came out at his big church wedding! Martha Stewart is furious!
• I'm not gay!
• This is my Goddamn bachelor party, and I am not going to Goddamn watch--pardon my split infinitive--Funny Girl!
• This is my Peter, friend Peter! We just now ran into each other, here at the intersexual . . . homosection . . . intersection!
• Men do not dance. They work, they drink, they have bad backs, they don't dance!