I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day. Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion (1984).

More from Dean Martin

• I’d hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day.
• If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.