I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day. Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion (1984).

More from Dean Martin

• I’d hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day.
• If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
• 24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day, coincedence? I think not.
• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
• Above all, do not fail to give good dinners, and to pay attention to the women.
• Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.