Stacks of poker chips sit beside a tipped martini glass and spilled liquid on a red surface.

Original artwork, not a still

Dean Martin

I’d hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day.

Behind the line

What it means

Our interpretation.

Speaker jokes that being a teetotaller would be grim: you'd wake each morning aware that this sober state is the best you'll feel until bedtime. The humour depends on treating drinking as the only source of good feeling, a boozy, self-mocking exaggeration rather than a sincere claim.

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