Characters
Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.
— Hank Hill • King of the Hill

Behind the line May contain spoilers.
Our reading
An editorial interpretation.
Hank makes being his son the obstacle to a hug, reversing the closeness that relationship would normally suggest. The conditional statement communicates an impulse toward affection while refusing its ordinary expression. The mismatch between family connection and physical warmth gives the remark its oddness.
Context reviewed