(over the intercom) Attention please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? Thank you, Lisa.

More from Principal Skinner

• Alright, Martin. For your community service, you'll be setting up a midnight basketball program for inner city street gangs.
• Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N., or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?
• Milhouse? Do you like the beach?