If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host.

More from Heathers

• We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the Book!
• Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
• This may seem like a stupid question...
• I’m offering you my body and you’re offering me semantics.
• You're getting worse.