A pale figurine standing on a small vintage television beneath a spotlight against a burgundy background.

Original artwork, not a still

Noel Coward

Good heavens, television is something you appear on, you don't watch.

Behind the line

What it means

Our interpretation.

A snobbish quip that flips the usual habit. Watching television is treated as what ordinary people do, while the proper place for someone of standing is on the screen itself. The mock horror of "good heavens" sharpens the joke about vanity.

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