Good heavens, television is something you appear on, you don't watch.

More from Noel Coward

• Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
• I'm over-educated in the things I shouldn't have known at all.
• I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
• My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.
• Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.