P. J. O'Rourke — People

Loose pages fan out beside a velvet slipper, a tipped teacup and scattered leaves on burgundy. — Original artwork

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke

Painterly small toy skeleton leaning against pastel building blocks on a pale surface. — Original artwork

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

P. J. O'Rourke

A green leaf rests against a car's side mirror while a grey road and landscape blur around it. — Original artwork

Only God can make a tree; but only Man can drive by one so fast.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

P. J. O'Rourke