If you can’t say anything nice, say it about Diane.
Carla
Did I ever tell you kids about the first Thanksgiving? It took place between the ancient Egyptains and aliens from a distant galaxy.
Cliff
It’s a dog eat dog world, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.
Norm
Women. You can't live with 'em. Pass the beernuts.
Norm
You know, I really think I can put together a great Thanksgiving dinner. This'll be the second one that I've cooked, and believe me, the first one was not the disaster that my family said it was. Those kids had a pretty good time in that ambulance.
Rebecca
I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. (a customer knocks on the door) Sorry, we’re closed.
Sam
I'm the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. (a customer knocks on the door) Sorry, we're closed. Last line
Sam