Fawlty Towers

197520 lines on file

I know nothing.

— Manuel

A small waiter in a white jacket holds a tray beside a tall hotelier in a tweed jacket at the reception desk of a pastel seaside hotel. — Original artwork

I know nothing.

Manuel

Flat cel illustration of bandaged Basil seen from behind, taking an exaggerated step beside rear-facing hotel guests, with a moose head on the dining-room wall. — Original artwork

Don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.

Basil Fawlty

A man in a tweed jacket thrashes a battered old car with a leafy branch on a seaside hotel forecourt at dusk, leaves flying, a suitcase on the gravel. — Original artwork

I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!

Basil Fawlty

Basil apologises beside a guest’s table while Manuel balances a tray in the hotel dining room. — Original artwork

I'm so sorry. He's from Barcelona.

Basil Fawlty

Manuel spreads his hands at reception while Basil towers beside him, both seen from behind. — Original artwork

¿Qué?

Manuel

Basil gestures through a bedroom window at Torquay rooftops and the bay while Mrs Richards looks on. — Original artwork

May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically—

Basil Fawlty

A bandaged Basil gestures beside a table of guests in the hotel dining room, all seen from behind. — Original artwork

Will you stop talking about the war? / Me? You started it! / We did not start it! / Yes you did, you invaded Poland!

Elder German guest / Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers

Sybil sits in a black quiz chair beneath a spotlight as Basil gestures like a host in an imagined hotel-office scene. — Original artwork

Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant, Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, special subject: the bleedin' obvious!

Basil Fawlty

A rat peers from an open biscuit tin in the kitchen while Manuel and Polly look on from behind. — Original artwork

Is a special kind of hamster. Is filigree Siberian hamster.

Manuel

Mr Hamilton raises a hand across an empty dinner table as Basil holds a blank order pad. — Original artwork

Waldorf salad. / I think we're just out of Waldorfs.

Mr Hamilton / Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers

A moose head rests on the reception counter while the Major faces it and Manuel crouches out of sight. — Original artwork

I can speak English. I learn it from a book.

Manuel

Basil leans towards Mrs Richards beside the hotel stairs as she holds her handbag. — Original artwork

Is this a piece of your brain?

Basil Fawlty

Basil presents a blank menu beside a serving trolley while Mrs Hall raises a questioning hand. — Original artwork

What's duck surprise? / That's duck without orange or cherries.

Mrs Hall / Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers

Basil holds a picture against the reception wall beside a record player while Sybil watches. — Original artwork

Racket? That's Brahms! Brahms' Third Racket!

Basil Fawlty

Basil reaches towards Sybil as she walks through a doorway away from him. — Original artwork

We used to laugh quite a lot. / Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.

Basil Fawlty / Sybil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers

Basil bends in an exaggerated plea while Manuel raises an uncertain hand beside reception. — Original artwork

Please, please try to understand before one of us dies!

Basil Fawlty

Sybil holds a telephone receiver behind reception while Basil waits in a distant doorway. — Original artwork

Ohhh, I knooow.

Sybil Fawlty

Basil raises a hand to his ear beside the Major as Sybil laughs in the adjoining lounge. — Original artwork

Reminds me of somebody machine-gunning a seal.

Basil Fawlty

A bandaged Basil holds an order pad beside guests with plates of salad in the dining room. — Original artwork

So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering and four Colditz salads.

Basil Fawlty

Sybil gestures while retelling a joke in the hotel lounge as Basil stands rigidly in a doorway. — Original artwork

Pretentious? Moi?

Sybil Fawlty