You know, I haven’t eaten since six o’clock this morning, and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel, and it wasn’t even real cream cheese – it was light cream cheese.

This is a hungry, fed-up rant where the speaker piles on details about a meagre breakfast, building to the final insult that even the cream cheese was the light kind. The humour comes from how much indignation is packed into a tiny grievance.

Context reviewed 20 September 2026