Basil Fawlty Quotes — Fawlty Towers

Flat cel illustration of bandaged Basil seen from behind, taking an exaggerated step beside rear-facing hotel guests, with a moose head on the dining-room wall. — Original artwork

Don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.

Basil Fawlty

A man in a tweed jacket thrashes a battered old car with a leafy branch on a seaside hotel forecourt at dusk, leaves flying, a suitcase on the gravel. — Original artwork

I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!

Basil Fawlty

Basil apologises beside a guest’s table while Manuel balances a tray in the hotel dining room. — Original artwork

I'm so sorry. He's from Barcelona.

Basil Fawlty

Basil gestures through a bedroom window at Torquay rooftops and the bay while Mrs Richards looks on. — Original artwork

May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically—

Basil Fawlty

Sybil sits in a black quiz chair beneath a spotlight as Basil gestures like a host in an imagined hotel-office scene. — Original artwork

Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant, Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, special subject: the bleedin' obvious!

Basil Fawlty

Basil leans towards Mrs Richards beside the hotel stairs as she holds her handbag. — Original artwork

Is this a piece of your brain?

Basil Fawlty

Basil holds a picture against the reception wall beside a record player while Sybil watches. — Original artwork

Racket? That's Brahms! Brahms' Third Racket!

Basil Fawlty

Basil bends in an exaggerated plea while Manuel raises an uncertain hand beside reception. — Original artwork

Please, please try to understand before one of us dies!

Basil Fawlty

Basil raises a hand to his ear beside the Major as Sybil laughs in the adjoining lounge. — Original artwork

Reminds me of somebody machine-gunning a seal.

Basil Fawlty

A bandaged Basil holds an order pad beside guests with plates of salad in the dining room. — Original artwork

So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering and four Colditz salads.

Basil Fawlty