Hey sideburns, you want some of this milk? Janitor. I’d rather have a beer.
Billy
- Director
- Tamra Davis
- Cast
- Adam Sandler, Bradley Whitford, Bridgette Wilson, Norm Macdonald, Darren McGavin, Josh Mostel
- Year
- 1995
- Runtime
- 86 min
- Genres
- coming-of-age film, comedy film
- Country
- United States
Facts: Wikidata (CC0), as of 2026-07-09
I will not make out with you! Mr. Chlorophyll up there is talking about God knows what and you want to make out with me!? Well I'm here to learn sister. (turning to teacher) Continue.
Billy
If your dog is lost, you don’t look for an hour and call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fuckin dog!
Billy Madison
Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! (Notices gold swan on edge of tub) Stop looking at me, swan!
Billy Madison
Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan!
Billy Madison
Okay Mr. Penguin. I'm gonna take you to the zoo where you'll meet some nice people, they'll treat you real respectable like.
Billy
Suntan lotion good for me. It protects me, tee hee hee. Sun is bad, Lotion good. (Squeezes bottle) Phft, phft, phfffnnnnnnnt! Smiley.
Billy
Billy (to young student having difficulty reading): ta ta Tah-day, Junior!
Billy
Wait a minute. What day is it?
Billy
I drew the duck blue because I never have seen a blue duck and I want to see a blue duck.
(wakes up) H-Hey Billy I..? Where's Billy at?
Norm
If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Old Farm Lady
Who the hell would steal 32 bagged lunches?
Teacher
Who the hell would steal 32 lunches?
Teacher
No milk will ever be our milk.
Veronica Vaughn