Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.

More from Blazing Saddles

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• Telegraph the main office, tell them I said OW!
• You use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
• They said you were hung.