Clerks

Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. Hey, hey you get back here!

Dante

You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie...

Dante Hicks

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Dante

(to Caitlin) Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. (To Man who turns and follows Caitlin) Hey, hey you get back here!

Dante

(to Veronica) Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. (To man who turns and follows Veronica) Hey, hey you get back here!

Dante

Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

Dante

Noise, noise, noise, smokin’ weed, smokin’ weed, doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers. Pack o’ wraps, my good man, it’s time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed.

Jay

People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."

Randal

Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

Randal

You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.

Silent Bob

I’m offering you my body and you’re offering me semantics.

Veronica